Maharet's Grotto

I know some of you will be buying this...

2009-05-07T20:15:04Z

By maharetlafae

Yup, you read that right. It's bacon flavored lube... I can just see the line forming...

Daylight savings time...

2009-03-05T05:24:11Z

Yes, that bane to our sanity, daylight savings time, is almost back. Can't we vote on this? I don't know about you folk, but there are several reasons for me not to like DST. First and foremost is the havoc it wreaks on our body clocks. I spend the first two weeks after a time change trying to adjust to it. Secondly... This is Georgia; in July, August, and September you want it to get dark faster because darker means cooler.

Think we can start a grass-roots movement to abolish DST?

Legend of the Seeker

2009-03-02T12:28:44Z

So, anyone else watching this? I'm loving it. Hell, the scenery alone would be enough to keep me watching.

Shamelessly stolen from charlesland

2009-01-16T04:28:16Z

Oh, there are so many people on my friends list that are going to love this one.

Art meme...

2008-11-13T01:43:07Z

snagged from heofmanynames

Your result for What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test...

Balanced, Secure, and Realistic.

7 Impressionist, -4 Islamic, 5 Ukiyo-e, -25 Cubist, -17 Abstract and 7 Renaissance!

Impressionism is a movement in French painting, sometimes called optical realism because of its almost scientific interest in the actual visual experience and effect of light and movement on appearance of objects. Impressionist paintings are balanced, use colored shadows, use pure color, broken brushstrokes, thick paint, and scenes from everyday life or nature.

People that like Impressionist paintings may not alway be what is deemed socially acceptable. They tend to move on their own path without always worrying that it may be offensive to others. They value friendships but because they also value honesty tend to have a few really good friends. They do not, however, like people that are rude and do not appreciate the ideas of others. They are secure enough in themselves that they can listen to the ideas of other people without it affecting their own final decisions. The world for them is not black and white but more in shades of grey and muted colors. They like things to be aestically pleasing, not stark and sharp. There are many ways to view things, and the impresssionist personality views the world from many different aspects. They enjoy life and try to keep a realistic viewpoint of things, but are not very open to new experiences. If they are content in their live they will be more than likely pleased to keep things just the way they are.

Take What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test at HelloQuizzy

Oh, I almost forgot...

2008-11-05T18:05:18Z

I'm supposed to remind amused_bouche to ask his friend about Percutaneous Balloon Carpal Tunnel-plasty. You see, this is a new procedure for fixing carpal tunnel syndrome that doesn't involve cutting the carpal ligament. It's really new though, so the challenge is finding a doctor in the state and on my insurance plan that does it.

Finally!

2008-11-05T15:07:48Z

Finally, the guy I voted for is President! I voted against Dubya twice. I can't tell ya how good it feels NOT to be able to say, "Don't blame me I voted for the other guy".

It was driven home to me last night during his speech how nice it is to have a President who can speak with eloquence and intelligence. More than that, how nice it is to have a President who can inspire the nation with his words.

I'm sure John McCain is a nice enough old fellow, but Barack Obama is what the nation needs after so many years of Dubya.

Catchy little ditty....

2008-10-25T04:57:35Z

Time for Some Campaignin' | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Ok, so I'm easily amused...

2008-10-23T20:44:20Z

see more pwn and owned pictures

In baking bliss...

2008-10-20T18:55:41Z

I have the best father-in-law EVER! Yesterday, for no particular occasion, he gave me a brand new KitchenAid stand mixer! I used it to make meatloaf last night. Yeah! Meatloaf came out good and I didn't have to deal with lots of hand pain to make it. Today I'm making honey oat bread. Mmmmmm.

LMAO! Haden Panettiere's PSA.

2008-10-17T20:32:53Z

Snicker...

2008-10-15T20:09:23Z

From charlesland

2008-10-14T22:11:50Z

When you see this, post in your own journal with your favorite quote from The Princess Bride. Preferably not "As you wish" or the Inigo Montoya speech.

[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Political meme

2008-10-12T10:42:50Z

You are a
Social Liberal
(70% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(26% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Democrat

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also : The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

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LMAO!

2008-10-09T18:51:49Z

Taken today with my cell phone. I shit you not, no photoshopping involved.

I'm still chuckling mirthfully.

Maybe I'm a nerd but...

2008-09-24T15:41:27Z

That's some funny shit right there...

Assorted movie reviews...

2008-08-03T03:21:15Z

In theater:

I hardly ever get to see movies at a theater, but recently had the chance to see The Dark Knight. Wow... As if clowns didn't creep me out enough, Heath had to go and take it to a whole new level of creepiness. Dark, very dark, but then Gotham is supposed to be that way.

On DVD:

10,000 BC... Loved it! Great graphic effects, story is interesting, if maybe a little bland.

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. OMG! I laughed SO hard.

Doomsday is kind of like Mad Max meets Scotland. Good movie, a bit on the gory side.

On Cable:

Saw Appocolypto the other night. Surprisingly good for a flick I had to read subtitles for. :)

WTF?!?!?

2008-07-26T21:31:49Z

No words to describe this. All I can think of is, "OUCH!"

Are you left or right brained?

2008-07-23T03:20:35Z

Ok, look at the naked girly silhouette. Is she spinning clockwise or counter-clockwise?

If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain.

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses feeling
"big picture" oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
believes
appreciates
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
impetuous
risk taking

If counter-clockwise, then you use more of the left side of the brain.

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe

Nifty huh? Please post your results in the comments, I'm curious. :)

Heroes Promo

2008-07-20T21:49:42Z

Especially for heofmanynames since I know he's as obsessed with this show as I am. :)

Cubic fuckton of memes

2008-03-20T01:45:18Z

I am 60% Addicted to Coffee

I Scored a 73%!

maharet-lafae.livejournal.com/

WANTED FOR THE WICKED SLAPPING of a STRANGE SACK OF CHIPMUNKS

$3000

What's Your Blog Wanted For?

60%

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.

You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.

People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.

But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

You Are a Moderate Mama

You're not overly political, and your views fall more with the American mainstream.

In fact, it may be difficult for you to decide who to vote for at times!

Your approach to politics is reasoned and well though out.

Are You a Liberal Lady or a Conservative Chick?

Who Should Paint You: Alfred Gockel

All American yet funky, you inspire an artist's imagination

And while not everyone will understand your portrait, you will!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.

Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.

You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.

You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Your Scent is Key Lime

Sassy, real, and totally smooth

You're a total flirt who's always ready for a challenge!

What's Your Girl Smell?

Moon survival and human shield memes

2008-03-19T17:55:49Z

78%

Gender meme

2008-03-19T04:59:42Z

Your Brain is 33% Female, 67% Male

You have a total boy brain

Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts

And while your emotions do sway you sometimes...

You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

How to Avoid a Southern Ass Kicking...

2008-03-18T16:07:54Z

1. Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your ass kicked.

2. Don't order fillet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.

3. We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your ass.

4. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying rat's ass whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever... it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.

5. We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g.,Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies or we'll kick your ass.

6. We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Sam Walton, Oprah, Turner Broadcasting, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgment, if you keep reminding us of the fact we will kick your ass.

7. Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.

8. Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Luther, Tammy Lynn, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.) or we will just HAVE to kick your ass.

9. Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you're a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended with gravy. And don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your ass.

10. Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern hellholes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta or US Airways is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

11. Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.

12. Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass all the way back to Boston Harbor.

13. Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma'am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.

14. So you think we're quaint, or losers, because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime infested cesspools like New York, Baltimore or Boston. Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your ass.

15. Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our barbecue, and you will go home in a pine box...minus your ass.

Y'all have a nice day!

dumb meme

2008-03-17T15:56:52Z

Take the Dumb Test at QuizRocket.com!
Make Your Own Quiz